Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
