Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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