People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My vagina just clenched in fear
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
