You don't have asthma, your pregnant
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
A bitchslap is in order.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
