I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
