Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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