that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
