And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize