Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
