you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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