Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize