the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize