i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
