TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
