i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize