I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Only a mothe r could love this liver
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
