i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
