Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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