I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
