i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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