Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
