high people should be assigned attendants
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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