I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize