Non-Jews are for practice
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
