yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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