I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
