you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
