brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
