Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
