Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
