I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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