I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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