She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The uberlube is also flammable
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
