i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
