i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
