My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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