just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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