Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
