I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
