Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
