you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
