Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
