At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
