Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
