There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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