glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
