erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
