your thong is hanging out like whoa
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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