playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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