it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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