im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he shaved USA in his pubs
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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