He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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