I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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