You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize