she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
