I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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